Regrets
by kirin-saga
Summary: It just wasn't fair... G1. Slash.


**Title: Regret  
Author: Cheysuli Night  
Rated: PG  
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.  
Warnings: Slash; Character Death  
Prompt: To be listed at the end of the story. I don't want to spoil it.  
Summary: _It just wasn't fair..._  
**

_'It's not fair,' _Rumble thought as he watched Soundwave stare blankly at the wall. _'It's not fair that after all we've been through, all we've done, all we've sacrificed for this war, that this is how it ends. And it's all my fault.'_

Rumble hadn't known what to think, at first, when he had learned of Soundwave's relationship with the Autobot. He had expected to feel betrayed, angry. But all he really felt was jealousy. Why did Soundwave have to love _him_? Weren't his cassettes enough? He didn't _need_ anyone else.

His siblings had an easier time accepting the Autobot. They treated him like a second creator, sneaking away to speak with him whenever they were too embarrassed to speak to Soundwave. The Autobot never laughed at them, never showed disapproval. He just calmly helped them see the situation from all sides, helped them understand what the problem was, giving them the knowledge they needed to solve the problem themselves. They had all learned a lot from him.

All but Rumble. Rumble never spoke to him whenever he managed to visit, never looked in his direction on the battlefield. It didn't matter how excitedly his siblings spoke of the Autobot; it didn't matter how many times Soundwave tried to convince him to at least _speak _to him. And it _certainly _didn't matter how many times the Autobot looked at him with disappointment and fading hope. He could not, _would _not, accept him.

But all that's changed now. Rumble can accept him now, love him now... now that it's too late.

It had been a stupid mistake on his part. A mistake even a rookie wouldn't have made. He had turned his back on a dangerous opponent to yell at the Autobot for following him. He had ignored the shocked expression on the Autobot's face, ignored the warning shout, and had almost shot the Autobot when he had rushed him.

The Autobot hadn't attacked him like he had expected. He had saved him, shoved him out of the way of a blast that cut the Autobot in half. A blast Rumble wouldn't have survived. A blast the Autobot _didn't _survive.

Soundwave had felt his bondmate's death from the other side of the battlefield. Rumble would never forget the sound of the scream that brought the battle to a halt, never forget the sight of Soundwave tearing his way through the Autobot and Decepticon rank in a desperate attempt to reach his bondmate's side. He would never forget the sight of Soundwave slaughtering all those who didn't move out of his way fast enough. And he would never forget how, since that moment, Soundwave hasn't been able to even look at him.

By this time tomorrow, these memories will be all Rumble will have left of Soundwave. After the massacre, Megatron had decided that Soundwave was too dangerous, too unstable, to be kept alive. He was to be permanently offlined the next morning.

Soundwave hadn't fought this decision. Rumble hadn't expected him to. Soundwave had died with his bondmate; only his body betrayed him.

Rumble knew Soundwave wanted nothing more than to be with his bondmate. He could see, now, how happy Soundwave had been since meeting the Autobot. How happy they had _all _been, except himself. But if he admitted it, even he had secretly enjoyed that time. He just wished he hadn't hid that enjoyment, wished he had openly accepted the Autobot. But it was too late for acceptance. Too late for anything really. But maybe... not too late for forgiveness.

Maybe when Soundwave was with his bondmate again, for forever this time, they'd forgive Rumble for never accepting their relationship. Maybe they'd forgive him for making things so difficult for them. Maybe the Autobot would forgive him for not realizing he was only following him to keep him safe. And maybe... Soundwave would finally forgive him for getting Perceptor killed.

Despite the fact they had been on opposing sides of a seemingly never ending war, they had been a family. They had been happy. And they had lost it all because he had refused to accept it.

**Prompt: Rumble / Perceptor / forgiveness**


End file.
